If only if only... Why does it have to be this way? It's like - you think you know what you want, but then something happens... And then you think, "Why did I do that?" or "Why did I let that happen?" or "Why didn't I just do this in the first place?" or "Why didn't I do this instead?" or "Why does it have to be this way?!" Why? WHY?! I wish I could explain it. I'm just being like Trevor right now and writing on my blog about stuff that nobody has a clue as to what I'm talking about. The only answer I can come up with to the question "why?" is that God made it the way it is. But is there a specific reason that I will ever know on earth? If I weren't the way that I am, then everything would be so much easier. If I weren't the way that I am, then everyone would be different towards me. If I weren't the way that I am, then would I be better? Come to think of it... I don't think I would. I'm happy with myself in this one way. This one way...